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Adventures of a physical rehab girl

 Hi y'all, it's been a while and for good reason. This is my last post on this blog. I am no longer able to run a full marathon and therefor I have decided to give up on keeping this blog. It just doesn't sit right with me.  It was fun while it lasted. I loved writing about my running (mis)adventures and all that it thaugt me and now it is time to move on. I will definately never quit running but it needs to become something different in my life now that I know that this asshole muscle disease might strike again and now that I have lost movement in my right arm and hand this time too. Pushing myself to and mostly over the limit is something I wanna learn to stop doing and thus.....it's time for a new blog:  Mostly Marley. Middle aged and life in between So if you wanna stay in touch, keep up, wanna have a good laugh and maybe shed a tear now and again feel free to come with me and join me as I venture out and try to exhale, let go, embrace and explore the all that is al
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Not Again, Neuralgic Amyotrofy, N.A. or after....

 HI y'all, The ups and downs of a marathon girl with a rare muscle disease called Neuralgic Amyotrofy. It struck for a third time. I never thought that it ever would again since having it a second time is not something that happens often let alone a third. Well lucky me....third time's a charm right? No it is not. The acute phase hurts like hell when all your nerves in your plexus brachialis are inflamed and after that? You lose control of your muscles in your shoulder and tadaaaaaa your shoulder hinges on....I don't even know what. It feels like a door out of it's hinges hanging on to some unseeable force. It feels like you're carrying a dead thing around and it's all the things you take for granted that suddenly are things you can't do anymore. Simply because the nerves that need to steer your muscles are DEAD. They can no longer get your brain's  message to the intended muscles. Try thinking of it as a closed highway. The neuropathway that is the high
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Your mind is your pathway to freedom

 HI y'all, The new year well on it's way and within those first ten days getting back to work, lockdown with an utmost certaintity to be prolonged, Covid barging in more hardcore than it seems to have done in first lockdown, an unpresidented run on the capitol, unworthy behaviour of the president of the US ....I have to admit I find myself screaming on the inside a lot. I don't feel berefth of a any priviliges I used to have, I don't feel poor, I am not lonely, I don't feel like I am locked inside a cage....it's not that. So what gives? I am utterly done with this notion of freedom humanity seems to have adopted. A notion that is very one-sided and very ego-minded. I am done with people screaming that the right wing is polarizing conversation and lying to their followers when the people that are screaming this message into the world honestly hardly are any better. When you belittle people that just have nothing more to lose, when you talk about them like they ar
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Out with the old

 Hi y'all, I can't believe we're actually here again. Another year coming to a close. A year in which I started a new job, a year that took al the strength some of our dearest friends had in order for them to survive, A year that taught us caution and a year that made us realize friends are there for each other in good times as much as they need to be when someone is scattered like a broken puzzle. A year in which we learned how a pandemic changes the world and marks all of the people that went through and survived it when maybe their loved ones didn't. A year that showed us the good and the horrid face of humanity facing huge losses. A year that helped some of the people we hold so dear take a stand for themselves and stand up for their own life. A year that just yesterday made all words obsolote when it took the dad and near-to-be-ex-husband of three beautiful people in my love's family. Words just completely left the earth and nothing else matters but the silence
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Accept your nature

 Hi y'all Let's try to not linger on what can't be changed, fret about the opinion of others or common societal rules (not including common sense social distancing and covid related rules because if you don't follow those you're just an arse in need of some serious kicking) and let's just embrace the power that lies within. The fire in your soul that makes you do whatever it is you do and for me it's running. Now this post might be a little to harsh for some delicate souls so if you're a june bug happy posts and lalaland kinda girl with flowers in your hair and wavy dresses and the big idea that everyone should try to pursuit happiness than please....do me a favor...quit while you still can and don't come crying about my rudeness. You do not have to read on....just a thought. Still here? Good let's go: I have given up on giving a f*ck. I no longer care what you might think of my time or my distances or the way my ass looks. I know I still can'
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Each run should be FUN

 Hi y'all, Running is a gift and gifts are supposed to bring you joy, a smile and little love in your heart. With the month of giving dawning upon us I wanted to share a little of what I think running should be and why.  Running should be something you look forward to, not dread. It should be something you want to do not have to. Running in all it's weirdness really oughta make you carry a smile from ear to ear each and every time. Why? because running should bring you joy. It really really should. Now I know it sometimes isn't easy to find joy in pushing your body over and through the pain threshold and way out of your comfort zone. It hurts to run long distances and depending on who you ask the pain can hit anywhere between mile 4 and way way above that. Pain can't be fun is something I can hear you think but as twisted as I might sound: you're wrong. Ofcourse I really don't like chafing, blisters and cramp but the fun begins when you realize that these sorts
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On running, data and anorexia

 Hi Y'all, Most of you know I am a true to the core data junkie. I am addicted to data in all it's glorious perfection and though it's sounds completely boring and nerdish to most, for me it is the gateway to find out where I'm at, where I want to be and how best to get there. Unfortunately the data junkie fun holds one very serious danger for me; the stress this data can cause and by doing so playing right into my eating disorder. If this is the first time you are reading up on my blog or if you really don't know me all that well, you might be in for a shock because I have been dealing with anorexia since I was about 14 years old and started to show some female forms. I grew up learning to hide my body because at that same age I was put on a scale by the one person that is supposed to love you unconditionally and I was told I needed to lose weight because I was getting fat. And yes these are the exact words that were used. And ever since that moment I started to lo
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